Dear Larry,

I seriously need some help. I’m painfully unathletic, but my friend signed me up to play gym volleyball for some reason. That’s not the problem, though. The problem is that every time this one guy hits the ball, he aims it directly at my face without fail. I try to guard my face, but there’s no use. He spikes it at me every single day to the point I’ve gotten socked in the face by him at least four times a gym game. Does he have it out for me because I keep flinging the ball across the room? I think so. I genuinely don’t think my nose can take another hit, so my question is, do I file a HIB report? For the sake of me not having to get a nose job for my newly deformed nose, PLEASE send help…


Bruise-covered freshman girl