Dear Severely dejected senior,

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I know how it feels because my cousin was rejected from Spores University, the top fungus college, a few years back. She wouldn’t leave her log for weeks, even when I offered her a bag filled with her favorite bacteria. It never feels good when you work hard for something, and it doesn’t happen. But! There are tons of great colleges out there besides Brown. Just some that come to mind are Ruggers and BCC (Bacteria Community College.) Hope all goes well!

Love,

Larry