WHAT IS UP WITH THIS SEASON!? There is almost no drama. I would not be here still if it weren’t for Krystal. I would probably have stopped watching after episode 3. Yes, I know, what a horror. If I had stopped watching way back then, you wouldn’t have been blessed with these weekly Bachelor Recaps.

Fantasy Suites are supposed to be the pinnacle of drama! It’s the first and only chance the couples have to forgo their individual rooms and to have a full, uninterrupted night together, that is unfilmed and unmiced. Ugh. So unbelievably disappointing. I NEED TEARS.

I had such a hard time watching Kendall’s date. Why didn’t Arie just send her home? It is clear he has much stronger relationships with the other two women left, Becca K. and Lauren B., and that the only reason Kendall is still here is that Arie wants to have an easy goodbye this week.

Even she knows she is going to be sent home. She says throughout her entire date that she is fully aware that her relationship with Arie is nowhere near as strong as his others, and she does not see it getting any stronger any time soon.

When Arie sends Kendall home (no surprise) he is very gentlemanly about it and pulls her aside to send her home during the rose ceremony, as opposed to doing it in front of the other women. Considering how long their relationship has lasted, it was very kind of him to reject her privately.

Once again, I have no idea what happened on Lauren’s date with Arie. What I DO know, is that Arie TELLS HER HE LOVES HER!? I guess unsalted saltines attract each other? He might just be saying this to woo her into the fantasy suite though because she shares she is having reservations. However, once he tells her he loves her, she gleefully accepts the fantasy suite.

Becca K. also accepts the fantasy suite, but her date differs from Lauren’s in the fact that she tells Arie she loves him! How sweet. Poor Becca, she doesn’t know that Arie is already in love with another woman. Right….? WRONG. ARIE TELLS BECCA THAT HE LOVES HER TOO? Ummmm WHAT!? This is insane. Not to mention, that Becca’s fantasy suite is in a TENT. Ugh. Becca is not being treated right, she deserves so much more. (EDIT: I had no idea what was to come.)

While Becca is walking on air after her date with Arie, and knowing he is in love with her, she gets an unwelcome surprise. Her ex, Ross, shows up to win her back. They were together for SEVEN years before they grew apart because they had “become different people.” How convenient that he just happened to be Peru that day after Arie and Becca confessed their love to one another. Unsurprisingly, Becca turns him away, which is a shame because Ross is way more handsome than Arie ever was. He is also extremely gentlemanly and respects Arie and Becca’s wishes that he leave.

So Arie is left with two women to choose from heading into the finale. Each woman is completely different than the other. Lauren B. is Emily’s clone, in the sense that she is literally just a physical representation of her, and lacks mental capabilities as clones often do. On the other hand, Becca K. is a stunning, witty, and kind human being, but she is not going to win because she is a brunette.

Rating: 3/5 This season is just like Arie: average.

Best Arie Quote: “Why is hotel management here?” This is his response to Ross showing up at his door to ask for Becca back. Oh Arie, you know the Bachelor producers are so much better than that.

Best Quote Overall: “Hey, there’s a plane behind you.” Lauren B. Even though I am #TeamBecca all the way, Lauren B. is just as ditzy as Arie, so maybe they really are a perfect match.