The color of Valentine’s Day is undeniably pink. Pink is generally a color people often associate with love, sugar, and desserts, but there are many things that are pink and look super tasty, but actually aren’t. If you’re wondering, I got the idea for this article because this would be my last time writing a Valentine’s Day themed article and I thought this would be funny. No—the stress of school and life isn’t getting to my head. So, with no further to do, here’s my list of all the pink-colored things that aren’t edible, but just look so tasty.
Lotus flowers, peonies, and cherry blossoms
Flowers are common gifts for Valentine’s Day, but let’s be honest, most of them look like they’d taste amazing if they were edible. Especially the pink ones like lotus flowers, cherry blossoms, and peonies. Sure, you can eat lotus root and cherries, but it won’t be the same as eating the flowers themselves. And I would highly advise not biting into some random flowers, especially if they’re lotuses being handed out at a casino (if you read Percy Jackson you know what I’m talking about). Personally, I imagine that biting into them will either taste like crunchy cotton candy or frozen strawberry yogurt. Though, if you actually want to eat them, I can tell you from personal experience that they don’t taste like anything (I’ve eaten a rose petal, pumpkin flowers, and zucchini flowers). And before you ask how and why I ate those very specific flowers, I would suggest going to Ladurée bakery in NYC for pastries topped with rose petals, Engine Room in Mystic, Connecticut for a giant steak served with sauce-drenched pumpkin flowers (they’re the cheapest on Fridays), and Trattoria Da Vittorio in Piermont, NY for stuffed zucchini flowers. Yes, I’m a bit of a foodie.
Pink clouds
I don’t have to explain this one. You have to admit that when you’re outside close to sunset, when the sky’s still blue and the sunlight is a warm amber, and you look up and see a fluffy pink cloud, you want to eat it. If we really could eat clouds, it wouldn’t taste like sweet lemonade or strawberries at all, just dissolving into cold water droplets. Luckily, cotton candy is sold in pretty much every candy store, which looks basically the same as pink clouds. Think about getting it for your Valentine!
Rose quartz
Perhaps this feeling is a remnant of the toddler version of me, toddlers who are prone to thinking certain dangerous things are perfectly edible, but I think that rose quartz gemstones look very appetizing. This mineral looks like if someone got pink lemonade and froze it into oddly shaped ice cubes. Of course, do not scoop up a handful of rose quartz at the gift shop and shove them, or any rock for that matter, into your mouth. Luckily, if you feel a similar impulse, there’s a way you can actually eat a crystal—Japanese amber candy, or Kohakutou. They’re made of Agar Agar and sugar, basically look the same, and could make for a cute Valentine’s gift (time is ticking!). Here’s a picture for reference, from SilkyGemCrystalCandy’s Etsy shop!
Hex #ffadd6
This is the hex number for a very specific shade of pink. Objectively, I think that if any kind of food is colored like this, it will instantly make it look twice as Valentine’s-y—and delicious. It’s slightly lighter than the most Valentine’s-y pink that a previous article was able to determine (#fc94af). If you’re sad you can’t eat a hex number, I suggest having some pink frosting cupcakes or strawberry yogurt to make up for it!
TOI-1338 b
Okay, yes, technically it’s impossible to consume a planet, but just look at it! If someone was able to make a fancy latte or bubble tea that looked like that, I can assure you that people would be lining up at that lucky shop’s door for hours, waiting to take a sip and snap a photo. For those who may not know, TOI-1338 b is a Neptune-like exoplanet (which is a planet that orbits around a star outside our solar system) that’s 1,301 light-years away, orbits 2 stars, and was found in 2020 by a 17-year-old NASA intern named Wolf Cukier. NASA provided a simulation of what it may look like here. Though there’s no food on Earth that can generate the same amount of satisfaction and power as eating an exoplanet can, I suppose a pink drink from Starbucks or strawberry milk boba from Gongcha can be a temporary replacement.
Overall, Valentine’s Day is all about showing people you appreciate them with gifts, especially pink-colored treats. Although some may quietly wonder how eating a pink exoplanet or rock would taste, these things are either impossible to truly eat or should not be eaten at all. Hopefully, whatever treat your Valentine gives you will be enough, and if not, there’s so many other perfectly edible things that can make up for it! Or maybe wait together until the human race is capable of eating planets and then split one in half to share—that sounds pretty romantic.
