The Student News Site of Northern Valley Regional High School at Old Tappan

The Lance

The Student News Site of Northern Valley Regional High School at Old Tappan

The Lance

The Student News Site of Northern Valley Regional High School at Old Tappan

The Lance


The Lance’s Definitive Ranking of Halloween Snacks
Matthew Woo

Every Halloween, trick-or-treaters hurriedly sort through their stuffed bags of candy, trading their least favorite candies with their friends and siblings. With so many options, it may be a daunting challenge to trade either Almond-Joys or Smarties away—both are pretty terrible options. With this list, however, The Lance will make sure you’ll have no trouble sorting through your favorite (and least favorite) treats in your candy bags.


10. Bag of Pretzels

Knocking on a door with your bag open, you’re most likely expecting sour gummies or sweet candies—just thinking about the treats puts a smile on your face. When the door opens to reveal an evil black and orange wrapper, however, your face drops. It should be illegal to even advertise these pretzels as “Halloween” The only thing slightly “Halloween-ey” about these pretzels is the fear that comes from the thought of receiving these dry and bland snacks.


9. Tootsie Rolls

Let’s be real—Tootsie Rolls taste like they’ve been stored in your grandma’s cupboard for a decade too long. Their chewy yet stale composition makes for an unpleasant experience on Halloween night, especially in a bag with competition from spotlight-stealing chocolates like Snickers and Twix. There’s nothing much to this bland candy besides its expired taste, leaving it at spot number 9.

8. Smarties

The only “smart” thing to do with your Smarties is toss them in the trash—you won’t be losing anything of worth. These crumbly, chalky, and tart tablets do nothing but book you appointments to the dentist. If you’re willing to gain a few cavities from these disgustingly sour circles of sugar, be sure to stock up on these this Halloween.


7. Candy Corn

Is there anyone who actually enjoys eating candy corn besides your grandparents? These artificially colored pieces of waxy candy taste like dry, crusty icing on a cake from Walmart forgotten in the back of your fridge’s freezer. If you’ve ever given candy corn a try, you would much rather consume a jar of old candle wax— it’s not like you would be able to tell the difference. 

6. Twizzlers

Now we’re getting somewhere! Although definitely not a fan-favorite, these sweet and chewy sticks are far better than any of the candies previously listed. Without being overly sugary, Twizzlers still satisfy your craving for an enjoyable treat on Halloween night. However, these still bright red licorice sticks may be a bit too bland for those wanting something to really satisfy a strong sweet tooth.



5. Snickers

Finally, it’s time for the good half of the list. Snickers is the perfect combination of caramel, nuttiness, and rich chocolate. The gooey caramel tastes like heaven when matched with its decadent cocoa pairing, making for a hearty candy bar that leaves you searching through the deep crevices of your trick-or-treating bag for more.

4. Twix

Here’s another candy bar filled with gooey caramel and a sweet cookie layer. Notice a pattern? A good candy bar has variety and the famous Twix bars achieve just this. It even comes in a pack of two! What more could you ask for? With a golden ratio of cookie to caramel, the Twix candy bar outshines its chocolate competitors, making sure to leave you hungry for more.

3. Skittles

Transitioning from candy bars to candy itself, Skittles make for a great snack to share with friends or eat alone; its tangy and fruity explosion of flavor works in any environment. With the wide range of flavors available to consumers, it’s no surprise that Skittles is at the top of the list. If you find yourself a bag of Skittles in your basket, you’ll find the wrapper emptied out with no recollection of you pouring the candies into your mouth just seconds ago.

2. Starburst

These chewy and juicy squares of goodness are sure to make all your trick-or-treater friends jealous. They’ll crowd over your basket, begging you to trade your Starbursts for some other incomparable sweets. I personally think the pink flavor is the best, but to each their own! The only downside of these treats is the fact that they usually come in a small pack of three on Halloween, leaving your taste buds wanting more.

1. Sour Patch Kids

Sour Patch Kids are an undeniably unique gummy. With its beautiful transition from sour to sweet, each “kid” provides the consumer with a mouthwatering burst of tartness followed by a tangy sweetness to even the flavors out. Its perfect balance between the two flavors makes it an amazing treat, and it’s usually the first candy gone from the leftover Halloween candy stash (thanks to your siblings who steal your hard work!). These soft gummies come in a variety of flavors, all of them satisfying that sour craving we strive to fulfill. 

The next time you find yourself trading your candy away, make sure to reference this ranking to avoid trading a pack of Skittles for some dry pretzels. Oh, and if you’re an avid enjoyer of candy corn, don’t take this list to heart—just make sure to dress up in your favorite floral curtains and carry expired mints around to get the full granny experience. 

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