Trick or Party
Dear Larry
I love my friends but I hate parties. Parties are way too loud and chaotic. I prefer hanging out with friends and taking walks, a much calmer but just as fun pastime. That’s why I was looking forward to trick or treating. What’s better than dressing up, walking around with friends, and munching on candy? Well, according to my friends, the huge Halloween party is much more interesting. I don’t want to spend Halloween apart from my friends, but I hate parties and I’m too scared that they will see me as childish for wanting to go trick or treating. What should I do?
Thanks,
Torn and Tired
Dear Torn and Tired,
I guess loud and thrilling parties aren’t everyone’s cup of decomposed matter! I’ll let you in on a secret: no one actually goes to Halloween parties to celebrate Halloween. Most of them are cheap excuses to show off costumes. Once the initial thrill of going to a Halloween party settles in, it becomes pretty lame and boring. I would suggest going to the Halloween party with your friends and just dealing with the chaos for a little bit. The moment you see your friends lose interest in the not-so-festivities, whisk them away to a whole ‘nother agenda full of trick-or-treating and talking walks.
Love,
Larry
Ghosted
Dear Larry
My family and I have always been pretty excited for Halloween. I always dress up to the best of my ability, but it’s definitely put a noticeable dent in my wallet. That’s why I decided to save this year and buy a costume from a sketchy-sounding website. The picture of the costume I bought was so good that I went around bragging about it to everyone who would listen. It turned out not to be the brightest idea because it turned out to be a complete scam company. I couldn’t get a refund and the costume never came. Now I’m completely costumeless right before Halloween!! Help!
Cheers,
Carelessly Costumeless
Dear Carelessly Costumeless,
First of all, I’m not sure why you are writing to me when the internet is available. Hundreds of last-minute costume ideas are at the tip of your fingers. I would recommend going as a portobello mushroom or an extra poisonous mushroom, very spooky! Get creative and make your own costume out of cardboard and tissue paper, or anything you have lying around. If you need to, make a trip to the dollar store to get some supplies. Let’s be real though, maybe this is karma for all your bragging and pride. It’s a sign for you to chill out a bit, and also a sign for you to be smart about how you spend your money. If everything ends up ruined, I’m not so sorry, it’s your fault that you have the intelligence of a parasitic fungus.
Love,
Larry
Fear Fest
Dear Larry
There’s a boy in my fourth-period chem class I have gotten pretty close to. He’s always so nice and friendly and I enjoy talking to him, so I was excited when he asked me to hang out. It turns out he had two tickets to a scary haunted house on Halloween, but the friend he was supposed to go with caught the flu and can’t go. On one hand, I definitely want to hang out with him outside of school and this is my chance. On the other hand, I’m such a scaredy-cat! I hate anything that is remotely scary from movies to decorations! I’m torn between spending more time with him and my deathly fear! I can’t decide what to do!
Sincerely,
Shy Scaredy-Cat
Dear Shy Scaredy-Cat,
I don’t think you should change yourself for another person. I once tried to change my spots from blue to yellow because a cute fungus in my Roots 101 class liked yellow spots better. Long story short, it didn’t go so well. I at least learned that being upfront, honest, and okay with who you are is the best. Just tell him that you’re scared, and ask him to hang out another time. Who knows, maybe your fear will be a cute quirk he finds endearing. Or he could find you totally lame. It’s okay though, there’s nothing as scary as changing yourself for another person.
Love,
Larry