Unwrapping the Sweet and Sour of Valentine’s Day Box Chocolates

Discovering the best and worst chocolates

Everyone loves receiving those boxes of chocolate from someone special, but the problems come in when you actually open the box. These infamous boxes may contain some questionable chocolates but there are a few hidden gems that won’t have you questioning if the person who gave you the chocolates even likes you. In order to clear up some of the confusion between the good and the bad, I’ll be ranking them from worst to best so you know what to avoid and what to look for. 




  1. Milk Chocolate Orange Cream

The worst of the worst in a Valentine’s Day chocolate box is definitely Milk Chocolate Orange Cream. Nobody wants to bite into a chocolate and taste overly-sweet orange toothpaste. Why would you even give this to someone? A box of chocolates should be a low-risk gift, so I’m confused as to why the manufacturer thought it would be a good idea to include a hyper-specific flavor that only someone with scurvy would be craving. 


  1. Dark Chocolate Fruit and Nut

Next, we have Dark Chocolate Fruit and Nut… What can I say? This flavor is truly awful. Dark chocolate and fruit (by the way, what fruits are even in here?) can be paired well but the addition of nuts (again, unnervingly unspecific) will make you want to apologize to your taste buds. So do yourself a favor and save yourself the trouble of ruining another relationship on Valentine’s Day. 

If this is your favorite flavor and you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone, I think you should do some serious self-reflection. 


  1. Milk Chocolate Strawberry Cream

The person who invented this failed attempt of copying the magic of a chocolate covered strawberry deserves no love in their life. Shame on you. Don’t be cheap, just get the chocolate covered strawberries if you want to be cliché. 


  1. Milk Chocolate Raspberry Cream 

Milk Chocolate Raspberry Cream is a slightly better alternative to the dark chocolate version since the milk chocolate pairs well with the sweetness of the raspberry cream. Yet again, this misses the mark of a chocolate covered strawberry, making it deserving of the number seven spot. 


  1. Dark Chocolate Sea Salt

This is a classic. While it might be mature for some people’s palates, it’s something you can get used to and it would be difficult for anyone to call this the worst chocolate. This should be the bare minimum when it comes to picking the perfect chocolate for a V-day box. 


  1. Milk Chocolate Coconut Cluster

Chocolate and coconut are a staple in these assortments and they have grown on me over the years. Since Valentine’s Day falls right smack in the middle of winter, the coconut brings a little bit of summer memories to your cold winter. That being said, the coconut also tastes mildly reminiscent of soap, so while it is nice to see in the box, it’s not exactly the gold standard. 


  1. Maple Nut Truffle 

This crunchy combination of nuts and chocolate is a great find in a box of chocolates. The addition of maple brought this chocolate to the top five, with the perfect symphony of sweet and savory. This chocolate is a masterpiece with a dash of maple syrup. 


  1. Dark Chocolate Caramel 

This classic chocolate is simple yet effective. While it may not be everyone’s favorite, it’s a safe bet that has an understandable place in the box. Most people love chocolate and caramel so you can almost guarantee they’ll enjoy this, especially if you like dark chocolate (like anyone older than nine should).


  1. Milk Chocolate Toffee 

Okay, hear me out with this one. Toffee gets a bad reputation for being the candy that has stolen the hearts and dentures of your grandparents, but it is underrated when paired with a good milk chocolate. 

Give toffee a chance this Valentine’s Day and maybe you will have your heart stolen by someone with equally good-taste as you. 


  1. Milk Chocolate Caramel 

Milk Chocolate Caramel is the magnum opus of chocolates in those assorted samplers. Quite honestly, you just can’t go wrong with those two. A perfect pair, if you will. 

If you’ve learned anything from this ranking, the best chocolates are the simple ones. So keep it simple this Valentine’s Day, stupid.