Hot Takes: Holiday Edition

Our Holiday Heartbreak Wishlist


The latest celebrity gossip, broken down by teenage girls. (Amelia Murphy)

Hey guys, welcome back to everyone’s favorite part of The Lance: Hot Takes. Today we’re here with a very special Holiday edition. You won’t even need your cozy winter blanket or a cup of hot cocoa to keep you warm, because we’re here to dish out the hottest takes. With that being said, get ready to agree (or disagree, but this is very unlikely) with which celebrity couples are on our holiday heartbreak wishlist.


Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian

Honestly, we were in full support of this couple–at first. Kardashian perfectly fit Barker’s’ emo-vibe. They seemed to bring out the fun in each other. But our obsession stopped where their obsession started— once the new season of The Kardashians on Hulu began, they became too much. The constant PDA started getting weird. There’s only so many times we can watch them have the same conversation of “I love you” and “baby.” We still wish them happiness, so if they must stay together in the new year, they can at least do us the favor of toning it down. 


Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly

This couple was our personal favorite in the beginning of their relationship having slayed every red carpet they blessed in 2021. But, they became way too weird way too fast, if you know what we mean. Megan’s caption on their engagement post on Instagram concluded with “…and then we drank each other’s blood.” 

…We’re literally disgusted. You’re not Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. 

This couple needs to be stopped. Party City is literally running out of black paint and pink hair dye to keep up with them. 

Also let’s not forget this horrifying moment in VMA history


Addison Rae and Omer Fedi

Addison Rae has come a long way from a basic Tik Toker, to the Hype House, to a fashion trendsetter. Her boyfriend, Omer Fedi, on the other hand is just a big question mark to us. We had to look up who he even was for this hot take – apparently a producer and songwriter? To be fair, it turns out he’s pretty successful and won an iHeartRadio Music Award for Songwriter of the Year. Nonetheless, his long red hair is not our vibe. He looks like Chucky met Fireboy. We know we know, looks aren’t everything (even though they are pretty high up there). But seriously, after all our research we were left blinded by his hair, and that’s about it. Due to the fact that Fedi’s hair is more exciting than this couple, we would literally rather see Rae back together with Bryce Hall, and that speaks volumes. 


Jesse Rutherford and Billie Eilish

You already know how we feel about this couple, and it’s only gotten worse. As we know, Jesse Rutherford and Billie Eilish share an 11-year-age gap. Recently, Eilish and one of our favorite singers, Phoebe Bridgers, performed Bridgers’ song “Motion Sickness” together. While we would pay hundreds to hear these angelic voices, there is some reallll irony in this. Bridgers reportedly wrote this song about a relationship with an older man that caused emotional damage. Are you guys seeing what we’re seeing? We just want Eilish and Rutherford to break up before one of them gets hurt, or before they do another tragic halloween costume like the old man and baby from this year. 

So, we’ll see if these couples break up over the holidays. We’re wishing everyone the happiest holidays, but (respectfully) not if you’re someone named above <3



Liv and Charlotte