Ah, February, the month of couples. Yet, I don’t want to look at couples in real life, that’s already being done over on Hot Takes. I want to look at couples in fiction!. It’s time for a blast to the past, and let’s head back to the early to mid 2000’s and 2010’s to analyze couples from Total Drama Island. One healthy, one complicated, and one toxic couple, it’s time to get ready for… Total, Drama, Romance!

Zoke [Zoey and Mike, seasons 4-5] – Healthy

Personally, this is one of my favorite ships, probably because I have a huge bias for Mike. Zoey and Mike meet in Season 4, episode 1 – Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er!, where Zoey saves Mike from drowning after he attempted to rescue fellow teammate Staci. Later in that same episode, Mike saves her from falling off a sliding totem pole, to which she clings onto his back for support. From there, their relationship only grows, especially in Season 4, episode 9 – Grand Chef Auto, when Mike is forced to confess that he has Dissociative Identity Disorder to Zoey. Throughout the season, his other alters such as Chester, Vito, Manitoba Smith and Svetlana have had Zoey so confused and even jealous at times, that he had to tell her. She actually accepts his disorder, telling him how “…I love oddballs. And you’re the coolest one ever.” Their relationship only grows stronger in Season 5 – Total Drama All Stars, where they share their first true kiss in Season 5, episode 13 – The Final Wreck-ening. Overall, super healthy, super loving, and a ship I have grown to love. 

Gwent [Gwen and Trent, seasons 1-2] – Complications

This is why we can’t have nice things. Fresh TV, why did you derail this perfectly good ship in favor of your now-hated love triangle. Gwen and Trent first meet in episode 1, but really start interacting in Season 1, episode 3 – The Big Sleep, where they bond over cheesy romance movies and the goal of staying awake together. This only amplifies in Season 1, episode 5 – Not Quite Famous, when Trent saves Gwen an extra muffin from breakfast, and even writes a song about her for the talent show. Fellow contestant Heather takes note of this, and instead of performing her ballet dance, reads Gwen’s diary aloud, revealing her feelings for Trent. Trent takes note of this, and even defends Gwen in the following episode, Season 1, episode 6 – The Sucky Outdoors, when Heather wants to vote Gwen out for pranking her with Harold’s red ant farm. Their relationship only grows, especially when they share their first kiss in Season 1, episode 16 – Search and Do Not Destroy. However, this episode also features their first road bump, where Heather tricks Trent into kissing her. This ruins Gwen and Trent’s relationship for a while, although they come through and get back together in Season 1, episode 26 – The Very Last Episode, Really!. Season 2, Total Drama Action, features the two romantically involved, but also sees their downfall. Throughout his time on the season, Trent becomes increasingly obsessed with helping Gwen win, going as far as to throw challenges for her and even offering to brand himself with the letter G. Eventually Gwen has enough, and breaks up with him in Season 2, episode 5 – 3:10 to Crazytown. This ends their relationship, as Gwen then goes on to date Duncan, and Trent settles into his boy band, The Drama Brothers. This relationship was the best in season 1, one of my favorites unfortunately. Why did they have t0 destroy it; they basically destroyed my heart.

Coderra [Cody and Sierra, season 3 and partially season 5] – Toxic

I have never hated a legal relationship in media as much as this one; illegal ships are on a whole different plane of existence, but this one being legal age wise makes me feel sick. Sierra and Cody meet in the Total Drama Action Reunion Special – Celebrity Manhunt, where Sierra interviews Cody and his boy band mates, The Drama Brothers. When Sierra is invited onto Season 3 – Total Drama World Tour, her true intentions are revealed. In Season 3, episode 2 – Walk Like an Egyption – Part 2, Sierra confesses to Noah how she pretended to be a telemarketer and called Cody’s aunt to learn personal information about Cody. This prompts Noah to reply with “ooh, stalkerlicious”, as he mocks her creepy behavior towards Cody. Her interactions only get worse throughout the season. She crosses so many boundaries of Cody’s, including touching his feet, carrying him everywhere, kissing him multiple times without asking, force feeding him “love tea” that he’s allergic too and even attempting forced marriage. In Season 5 – Total Drama All Stars, Cody does not participate, yet Sierra does, thank goodness Cody is safe. Sierra goes so crazy once she loses all photos of Cody, to the point of hallucinating her teammates as Cody, or pretending Cody is there when he’s not. Cody, if I were you buddy, I would sign a restraining order straight away, you don’t even like her back! The fact that this ship leans so heavily into stalker and victim romance… ew.

Would any of these ships actually last in the real world? Tough to say, this is all speculation and my opinion. While I think some of them have a decent chance at lasting, others are less likely to last. Analyzing them more deeply has shown real world flaws in romantic relationships, ranging from communication issues, to toxicity among couples. What to do with this, however? Maybe use it to look for red flags in relationships in the real world, or maybe red flags in yourself. There’s no better way to analyze the real world than through the lens of fiction, as fiction has the potential to change the world.